Couples Only: 13 things you should NEVER say during sex

Hey, those intense love hormones can make you say some crazy stuff. So trust us when we tell you to scratch these phrases from your bedroom vocabulary.

We’ve all gotten a little carried away in the heat of the moment, but saying the wrong thing in bed can bring even the best time to a screeching halt.

Hey, those intense love hormones can make you say some crazy stuff. So trust us when we tell you to scratch these phrases from your bedroom vocabulary.

Consider these the worst things you could say during sex. But come on, we didn’t really need to tell you, right?

1. “Is it in yet?” Did you just pinch me? Or, wait… OK, so that’s what we’re working with. Cool. We know men seriously stress about their penis size — so this is a no brainer. Even if you’re thinking it… don’t say it.
2. “Let’s just get it over with.” Hey, sometimes a quickie is what you’re really craving — plus, you have a bootcamp class in an hour, and it fills up so quickly. Your partner will understand right? (No, no they won’t.)
3. “High five!” Alright people, this isn’t drunken sex in a dorm room. This is adult sex. You can do better.
4. “That’s it?” I think you’ve watched Instagram videos that were longer than that. Still, muttering these words will not make them rally for round two, we promise.
5. Any form of baby talk… ever. Nothing kills the mood faster than the tone of voice usually reserved for puppies and toddlers. Just, don’t.
6. “Can you grab my phone?” You know humanity is addicted to their cell phones when one in five people say they’ve used it during sex. Do yourself — and your partner — a favour, and let it go to voicemail.
7. “Are you done yet?” Talk about pressure! You’re having sex — not reading Game of Thrones — you’ll know when each person is finished. So don’t ask for an Estimated Time of Arrival on an orgasm; it’s just not good manners.
8. “Ugh, I’ll just do it myself” We get that sometimes masturbation can be even better than sex (talk about an easy O). But don’t throw in the towel if your partner isn’t exactly blowing you away. Communicate, show him what feels good, and try not to utter this phrase.
9. “Oh, Gbenro Ajibade, yes!” Yep, you just blurted out the name of your celebrity crush (unless you actually are in bed with Gbenro… in which case, good for you!). While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a little visual fantasy, keep Gbenro’s name — and washboard abs — in your head.
10. “Oh that reminds me, I’m out of tampons.” In the words of every sports coach: Get your head in the game! You’re having sex, after all. Besides, the more you’re able to cut out distractions, the more likely you are to orgasm.
11. “You want to do WHAT?” Sure, this might be what you’re thinking when your partner suggests a particularly creative move they saw in porn, but take a beat first. Of course, you don’t have to agree or even try something if you’re not into it, but shooting down their fantasy right off the bat will probably make them reluctant to open up again. Try a simple “Hm, well, I’ll think about it” instead.
12. “My ex used to do it like this…” Talking about exes while naked with your new partner is pretty much always frowned upon. Besides, they’re your ex for a reason…
13. “I love you!” MAJOR Disclaimer: If you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship, you should absolutely shout this one! But if this is a casual hookup or someone you just started dating last Tuesday, this is probably your orgasm talking.